What’s all this hoopla with 29ers…

Ok so I may have taken a sip of the Kool-Aid…but I haven’t drank the whole cup! So this article is about how I’m am not so sure that this whole 29er thing is all that great. Moe and I were talking about this the other day and he’s owned a few 29ers in his day. Me, I’ve ridden them enough to say…and Moe is with me on this, but we’re not completely sold on them.

Trek 69er…this bike is obviously confused! Kinda reminds me of Carlton from the Fresh Prince of BelAir or when a young boy can’t decide if he likes playing with his sister’s dolls more than playing army with his friends…simply can’t figure out what it needs to be….29er or 26er…aye…poor bike.

There’s a big argument that 29ers will create more momentum and all that jazz. Sure…But wouldn’t a guy that is over 6′ tall create the same momentum on a 26er when he’s going down the hill? We’ll use Jeremy for an example. The dude is over 6′, weighs somewhere around 275lbs…ok ok minus about 50lbs. Anyhow you’ve got this big giant that is riding a bike. His weight alone will cause momentum while going down a hill, right? So that theory is gone. Any bike whether its a 20″ bmx or those ginormous things called 29ers will create momentum when riding, especially if the rider is this massive Mexican that Jeremy is…

Sorry Tim, but you’re one of them, so I have to point you out…

Second argument that 29ers roll over things easier…WHY WOULD YOU ROLL OVER THE CURB OR A BIG ROCK!?! I don’t get it…when I roll up to a curb, I bunny hop! If there’s a ditch on the trail, I bunny hop! If there’s a big rock on the trail, I bunny hop! Sounds to me these 29er things were built for guys that can’t bunny hop over things…

This fella can’t bunny hop…thus a 29er bike…

My final point…29ers have yet to do anything cool. Those big honking wheels were not meant to do stunts like you see in New World Disorder, Roam or The Collective. Those wheels will TAC-OH if you drop them anything over 1 foot.

Oh one last thing…29ers mean more material, more paint, more WASTE! Aye…29ers are just a bad idea all together…bad for the rider, bad for the pocket and bad fort he environment….

(Ed. You know I’m just messing!)