Are you an Ugly Mountain Biker?

If you are, and you have trouble making friends, meeting a girl or getting married, then you better listen up! If you ride quite a bit and are facially challenged, then start pimping out your other assets rather than your face.

Here’s where I’m going with this. Typically mountain bikers have very strong lower body muscles from all the riding they do.

A good 90% of us have solid quads and calves the size of dinner plates. With that in mind, why not show off your legs more?

Here’s a few tips that is a sure fire way to land the ladies, or at least get them to start talking to you, cuz’ everyone knows that when a guy is ugly, the chicks immediately start looking towards the legs to see if the quads and calves are big enough.

1. Wear spandex EVERYWHERE YOU GO! If you’re heading out to get some frozen yogurt, put on some tights! Placing a banana down your tights will also get some attention. Just check out how our buddy Greg from Evomo does it.

2. Every chance you get, talk about your legs. For example, if your coworker asks you how your weekend was, you simply say; “Oh dude, we shuttled this downhill trail and took a few jumps, now my legs are so sore…” That’s when you pull up your pant leg and start massaging your calves with your roller stick thing.

3. If either of those fail, you can always resort to your fantastic glutes! Us mountain bikers are blessed with the best butts. Show it off like Biker Fox!