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HumorMainMountain BikingRide Reports

Thursday Night Ride Report…Caterpillars suck!

By RL Policar
April 11, 2008 3 Min Read
12

Last night Moe, Priscilla and I headed to our beloved Fullerton Loop. The Loop is one of the few places where you’re allowed to do night rides and since it was super close to our homes, we hit it about a few times a week.

When we got there I quickly noticed the Brian Lopes Sportmobile. I had heard that he either lives or does a bunch of work in Orange County and Joe Solancho even told me that Brian is at the Loop every Thursday riding…

I had to get my face in there just to prove that the van was really there…we never did see Brian, I’m sure he was somewhere on the trail tearing it up.

Here’s Moe incorporating our “No Smiles” look.

On our way through the trail, Priscilla was leading and suddenly jumps off her bike to pick up one of the worst mistakes God had ever made…a black fuzzy caterpillar! Ok ok, I’ll admit, I HATE caterpillars, all of them and this hate is based on a FEAR of them. I don’t care if they’re not going to hurt me, or whatever, but I don’t like them and I freak out when ever I see them.

So Moe and I slow down to ask if she was ok and I immediately saw what she was up to. She’s trying to pick this thing up! I screamed like a little girl…“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” Then I rode away as fast as I can because I was afraid that she would have thrown it at me or something! UGH.. I hate those things!

As I’m pulling ahead, I did practice the “we’re not waiting for slow riders”…I pedaled as fast and hard as I can on my singlespeed. Unfortunately, my SS is geared at 32×18 so I’m spinning like crazy. I’m trying to get away from Priscilla because I had it in my head she was going to chase me around with that nasty caterpillar. But my legs started to burn and I got tired and she caught up and I’m panicking because she caught up to me rather quickly….ok first mistake is trying to out run Priscilla….I’m really freaking out here as if some serial killer was chasing me. As she pulls up I’m stressing, but I was relieved to see that she wasn’t holding that nasty thing in her hand. But still, I was mad…

I admit, I have a dreaded fear of those things as well as snakes and super tall people. But if any of you get an idea to try and scare me with one, I’ll punch you in the throat!

But since it was Priscilla, I did forgive her. So for the record, I’d like to publicly apologize to Priscilla for getting super worked up about that stupid caterpillar….and she did say sorry about that whole incident because she didn’t realize that I was that scared of them….

Ok ok…yes I’m scared of caterpillars….dang let it go! Like I said, if you try and scare me with one….fist to the throat!

Related posts:

  1. The Long San Juan and Fullerton Loop Ride Report
  2. Duo Afternoon Ride
  3. I Did That on Purpose
  4. Ride Report: Fullerton Loop, with a Special Guest Appearance!
Author

RL Policar

RL Policar is an avid mountain biker and the Editor In-Chief of MtnBikeRiders.com and BikeCommuters.com. Between the two sites, he's published well over 4,000 articles (and growing).

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12 Comments
  1. Dana says:
    April 11, 2008 at 10:59 am

    I guess we won’t be seeing you on any further installments of Survivor. It’s OK, we’re all afraid of something.

  2. Hawkeye says:
    April 11, 2008 at 11:01 am

    No fuzzy worms for you eh? That’s OK I am afraid of heights.

    Hawk

  3. RL Policar says:
    April 11, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Dana,

    If I were on Survivor I’d punch Jeff Probst in the throat too for making me touch or eat a caterpillar….

  4. Priscilla says:
    April 11, 2008 at 11:26 am

    Sorry babe. I didn’t know you were really afraid of them. I thought you were going to laugh again. 🙁

  5. Duke says:
    April 11, 2008 at 11:51 am

    He should be very well afraid of them. When they attack, its not nice http://www.markallen.com/grotesque/images/unibrow.jpg

  6. Priscilla says:
    April 11, 2008 at 11:52 am

    hahahahaha. That’s funny stuff duke.

  7. Lance says:
    April 11, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    Priscilla, keep looking for those caterpillars. You will de-sissify your husband in time! It takes dedication but I know you can do it.

  8. RL "Anti-Caterpillar" Policar says:
    April 11, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    Dude…don’t give her any ideas…. 🙁

  9. Jay says:
    April 12, 2008 at 9:46 am

    Someone should make some tequila with a fuzzy worm just for RL! heh heh

  10. Jay says:
    April 12, 2008 at 9:47 am

    BTW… Moe .. it kinda looks like you are wearing one of those beanies with the propeller in that pic. lol

  11. Dana says:
    April 13, 2008 at 5:50 am

    Btw, Priscilla was blazing along at her customary pace right? How in the world did she see that fuzzy little caterpillar? She must have super night vision too.

    How about a big stuffed caterpillar for RL to sleep with? Maybe that would help calm his fears.

  12. RL says:
    April 13, 2008 at 6:49 am

    Dangit Dana!

    Don’t give her any ideas! You suck! We were starting a mild climb so she wasn’t going too fast, but somehow she saw this nasty thing….

    RL

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