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HumorMainMountain Biking

Please do not show up to the trail wearing too much cologne

By RL Policar
February 18, 2011 1 Min Read
2

The other day I was doing a garage sale at one of the local trails. As I was busy talking to people and selling stuff, a guy rolls up with his sleeveless shirt asking if I had any SPD pedals. I told him I had some Ritchie SPD pedals, but before I could finish my sentence, he cuts me off. I’m thinking, “ok..that was rude…” Then it hit me, literally. The stench of his cologne was overwhelming! This guy took a BRO-Shower before the his ride! Not sure if he was using Old Spice cologne, or Axe body spray, what ever it was, it smelled cheap and nasty.

Here’s the worst part about a bro-shower, he’ll be leaving his scent all through the trail and when he starts sweating profusely, he’s going to smell like ASS. Yup, because when you mix sweat and cheap cologne, it smells like a butt, or worse, feet. So what ever you do, DO NOT show up to a trail after a Bro-Shower. You’re better off not showering before the ride or just take the time to take a real one. Trust me, everyone around you will appreciate it.

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bro showercologne showerirish shower
Author

RL Policar

RL Policar is an avid mountain biker and the Editor In-Chief of MtnBikeRiders.com and BikeCommuters.com. Between the two sites, he's published well over 4,000 articles (and growing).

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2 Comments
  1. Cat MacKinnon says:
    February 20, 2011 at 5:26 am

    y’know, this totally goes for the girls too! i’m a girl who mostly dates girls… look, Christian Dior “Hypnotic Poison” is one of my favorite perfumes. but if YOU can smell yourself enough to think drowning yourself in it is a good idea, then you should REALLY reconsider your bathing habits!

    i know that we should only wash our hair two or three times a week, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t bathe every day (that’s what shower caps are for!) i mean, if you can smell your own armpits, you should probably wash them! adding perfume is only going to make you smell like a sweaty person that added perfume! it’s awful!

    i’d much rather smell someone that came off a day on the trails, cos we’ve all been there and we all know what sweat and dirt smells like. yeah, girls sweat too, and it smells funky, just like the guys. but it’s not THAT bad, and it should be a badge of honor that you spent all day on the trail! and if you want to clean up for the “after-show”, that’s awesome too! just don’t half-ass it: if you want to be clean, just hop in the friggin’ shower for ten minutes! is it REALLY that hard to at least rinse yourself off and do a quick “top-and-tail” scrub?? just pretend you’re ten minutes late to work or whatever it takes to get in and out of the shower really fast.

  2. Hey Sus De Cristo says:
    February 20, 2011 at 10:06 am

    I agree, smelly people suck and will not go to heaven.

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