Sh!t Happens

As I prepare to mow the lawn I’m left thinking how my adulthood revolves around poo. There was the diaper phase for a few years. Thankfully the two money-stealing-time-wasters have learned to poo in a civilized manner. By civilized I mean on the toilet while perusing their favorite magazines. The phase of infinite fecaldom I am in now is of the canine variety. Growing up with my mom’s yapping pekingese all I wanted was a real dog. I said when I grow up I’m getting a big dog that can run and fetch and swim and guard and of course — poo, big. My 2 dogs have depleted the ozone, made the groundwater toxic, and have employed me fulltime in their waste removal. Be careful what you want to do when you grow up.

If only my dogs were this smart.